Something feels kinda off about sharing her 8-month photos on the eve of her 9-month birthday but I am just going to roll with it. This kid is trying so hard to show me how to do that in more ways than one. I am not sure I will ever fully get it but I have been learning a ton about relinquishing the illusion of control I have clung to so tightly. I swear I have learned this lesson before but I guess I needed it to come around again. And again.
My best girl Ann always has such wisdom to share, yesterday she penned these words:
Sometimes the most revolutionary thing that you can do is simply turn away just for a moment from doing — and make space for being…We come the most alive after being the most still.
Why do I feel so compelled to do? Why is being so difficult? I have a few guesses as to why I struggle so much with that but I think most of us would have to admit that it’s largely because we want results quick. We lack the patience to wait on The Lord and the strength to trust that He will make all things beautiful in His time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Our security tends to get stuck within ourselves.
However, after 9 months of doing everything I possibly could to try to fix each of #littlebabymae’s issues, I am now focusing more on letting go, settling in and trusting that As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. (Psalm 18:30) I have to realize that God has Mae in His perfect protecting, providing hands. As J.S. Park states,
“God is at once bigger than our minds can comprehend and closer than our hearts dare to believe.”
So while I have been working through all of that, #littlebabymae has been turning into a toddler. I am not even kidding. She operates in high gear all day every day and wants to walk so badly! I am convinced it’s any day now. I know I am supposed to want time to stand still and for her to stop growing up but with every stage of independence this kid gets happier and happier. Happy baby = happy mama so I say bring it on. But just for a little while, because it can’t be possible she’d be this cute forever…
Photos of the two of us by my dear Kat Braman